Recognizing abuse is the key to understanding if someone you know is being abused. If you've witnessed your friend or loved one's partner exhibiting one or more of these warning signs, it's likely that she is being abused.

Following are some suggestions for talking to your friend or loved one about her situation. And remember - she may not see herself as a victim, or she may not see her partner as an abuser. Try to avoid those words when talking to her.

• Ask specific questions: "Has he ever pushed or shoved you?" or "Has he ever called you or your children names?"
• Know the effects of domestic violence. Share them with the victim in a non-judgmental way that lets her know you are concerned.
• Do not criticize the abuser. Criticizing her partner can cause distance in your relationship, making her less likely to come to you for support.
• Listen without judging. Tell your friend that you care and are willing to listen. Is she is willing to talk? Listen carefully and talk in a safe place. Believe her.
• Trust her knowledge. Victims are "experts" on their relationships and know the patterns of violence in the abuser's behavior, so trust your friend to judge when she is safest.
• Give her positive feedback. All types of abuse lower the victim's self-esteem. Remind your friend of her strengths and abilities and her importance to you.
• Do not make choices for her. Abusers often limit the victim's ability to make choices. Try not to repeat this behavior by giving her ultimatums and orders.
• Learn about community resources. Contact CHOICES to educate yourself about domestic violence and learn more about community resources.
• Encourage her to start a log or journal. This should include details about the frequency, severity and duration of the abuse she has experienced.
• Encourage her to develop a safety plan. Contact CHOICES for information about safety planning.
• Contact police immediately if you witness or hear a violent episode. Do not try to intervene.