Domestic violence often goes unreported due to societal stigmas that inhibit victims from disclosing their abuse. Victims may be too ashamed or frightened to admit they are being abused - even to close friends and family.
Or they may not see themselves as victims at all. They may think that domestic violence is defined solely as physical abuse. However, there are many types of domestic abuse.
Recognizing abuse is the key to understanding if you or someone you know is being abused. If your partner repeatedly uses one or more of the following to control you, you are being abused.
Using Intimidation
- Making threatening looks, actions, or gestures
- Smashing things in front of you and/or destroying property
- Hurting your pet(s)
- Displaying weapons
Using Emotional Abuse
- Humiliating you through insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs
- Playing mind games in an effort to make you think you're crazy
- Making you feel guilty about the abuse
Using Isolation
- Increasing your dependence on him by limiting your outside involvements/activities
- Controlling what you do, who you see and talk to, what you read, and where you go
- Using jealousy as an excuse to justify abusive behaviors
Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming
- Making light of the abuse or denying that it has occurred
- Shifting responsibility for the abuse onto you
- Making excuses for inexcusable behavior
Using Children
- Making you feel guilty about involving the children
- Using children to relay messages
- Threatening to take the children away
- Using visitation time to harass you
Using Male Privilege
- Treating you like a servant, a child, or his possession
- Expecting you to obey him without question
- Acting like "master of the castle"
- Making all family decisions without your input
Using Economic Abuse
- Preventing you from getting or keeping a job
- Making you ask for money or giving you an allowance
- Taking your money
- Preventing your knowledge of or access to family income
Using Coercion and Threats
- Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you
- Threatening to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets
- Threatening to leave you, commit suicide, or report you to child protective services
- Forcing you to do illegal things
- Making you drop charges against him
If you are involved in a relationship where you are being hurt or abused, remember that you are not alone, it is not your fault, and help is available. Call the CHOICES 24-hour hotline at (614) 224-4663.
